Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
