Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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