She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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