I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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