I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
