My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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