great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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