at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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