So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
