Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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