Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
