I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
