Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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