I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
