no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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