I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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