Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
