this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
