Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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