if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
