Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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