i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
its not stalking. its research.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
