More tranny stories later!
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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