How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
