Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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