I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
