just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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