so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
