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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B

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• (718): View more from New York

  so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.

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