im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
