Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
