That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
