About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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