Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
