Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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