At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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