Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
