I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
