this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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