remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
