I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
