so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
