Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
