She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
