I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
