That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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