and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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