I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
