So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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