just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
